October 2013 archive

In transit

In a place where I’m neither here or there.

On a random note, I got a note.

A Galaxy Note 3 to be exact. Big, shiny and white. I would take a photo but I cant do a photo inception using the note. (no longer have my iphone T_T)

Switching to the android platform is no easy task coming from the simplistic iphone. But to move forward, learn and change.

Too many functions yet not the exact functions I want. Hmm. Why still finding holes in the system and finding ways around. Doing this makes it 10x longer on an average task until we get efficient enough.

I want to end this post in a meh. I can’t seem to stop looking back, its making me trip up on the way forward.

I know my posts havent been very interesting lately, I’m in introspective mode. Hope to see the other side soon.

The way it was isn’t the way it is now

The way it was and the way it should be, are things that pass through the mind time and time again. Acceptance for here and now is what I’m striving for now but also wanting things to be a certain way like an ambition or goal – the way we are trying to go, and where we think we should go. The only thing we can be certain about is change. Changing the way we want to go and letting go of the way it was and how we imagined it to be in that particular past.

This thing called a goal and how I imagined it to be in the past compared in the here and now, has evolved because I am no longer there. Replaced with new goals and things I want to experience in the uncertain future.

Setting myself 10 missions to complete. Calling them missions because I’ve been influenced too much by GTA.

1. Update this personal webspace of mine and fill it with beautiful photos and moments captured
2. Go back to Paris, ride a bike with a basket full of french bread and actually go up the Eiffel tower while wearing a red beret. Make sure this is happening in May.

3. Live independently. I have been extremely privileged to live with my loving family.. What will it be like to fly from the nest?

4. Be so I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. Life isn’t about all about work. Yeah, I wanna be a billionaire.. so F’N bad… (Bruno Mars you are my hero haha)

5. Bora Bora – though its a honeymoon destination. Guess I have to get married first.

6. Be extremely awesome at something other than helping people out all the time. That almost sounded selfish. I guess I can be awesome at  being myself but I want more. Dance? Snowboard? Play music? Something that wows the socks off people, not that I want to be the center of attention, just something I can be really proud of.

7. Happier not knowing so much so in this world of relativity so I can refrain from comparing. Reality is sometimes too harsh and ignorance gives  some reprieve but at the same time, I want knowledge, I want to learn.

8. Go to a concert and fan girl like crazy.

9. Run through a field of flowers high on the mountains while spinning with my arms wide open. This is what freedom will feel like minus the sound of music song. Or go to Japan and ride a bicycle while having sakura blossoms gently fall around me. Insert theme song – 遠いこの街で (In a distant town) for both situations.

10. Continue to be awesome being me and make more missions to complete. Be happy wherever I am, whatever I’m doing.

 

SakuraThese blossoms will bud, bloom, fall then begin all over again with the changing seasons.

 

Thinking about thinking

I’m overwhelmed, then consumed. Let’s break that pattern.

Lets learn not to give an F

Overgeneralizing is awful – one thing doesn’t make everything bad. Many things one after another makes things bad.. but… not for long.

Processing and not labeling it as a problem – it’s not a problem until you make it one. It’s not bad until you think its bad. The more you think it’s bad it’s going to be worse.

Such is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Why is it also that we think so much of the past that it affects the future, a future that doesn’t exist yet except in the mind.

Experiences and memories are what bought you to this present place, it influences behaviour, thought processes, emotions and such to the point where it becomes your personality and character.  Does this make you who you are? If so, then are you a sum of all your experiences? Does your personality change so easily after one or a few experiences?

All we are left with questions, maybe that don’t even need to be answered. Because you are yourself, no matter who you are. As much as that doesn’t make sense.

I am being very random, that is me.

Coming back home

I’ve always been at home, home is where the heart is.

Find a new home? Make a new home? Its a scary thought.

Things I have to work through, but in the meantime. This placed called hika-p.com, will always be my home on the internet.

Come by more often. I will be home.

cityoflights5