The way it was isn’t the way it is now

The way it was and the way it should be, are things that pass through the mind time and time again. Acceptance for here and now is what I’m striving for now but also wanting things to be a certain way like an ambition or goal – the way we are trying to go, and where we think we should go. The only thing we can be certain about is change. Changing the way we want to go and letting go of the way it was and how we imagined it to be in that particular past.

This thing called a goal and how I imagined it to be in the past compared in the here and now, has evolved because I am no longer there. Replaced with new goals and things I want to experience in the uncertain future.

Setting myself 10 missions to complete. Calling them missions because I’ve been influenced too much by GTA.

1. Update this personal webspace of mine and fill it with beautiful photos and moments captured
2. Go back to Paris, ride a bike with a basket full of french bread and actually go up the Eiffel tower while wearing a red beret. Make sure this is happening in May.

3. Live independently. I have been extremely privileged to live with my loving family.. What will it be like to fly from the nest?

4. Be so I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. Life isn’t about all about work. Yeah, I wanna be a billionaire.. so F’N bad… (Bruno Mars you are my hero haha)

5. Bora Bora – though its a honeymoon destination. Guess I have to get married first.

6. Be extremely awesome at something other than helping people out all the time. That almost sounded selfish. I guess I can be awesome at  being myself but I want more. Dance? Snowboard? Play music? Something that wows the socks off people, not that I want to be the center of attention, just something I can be really proud of.

7. Happier not knowing so much so in this world of relativity so I can refrain from comparing. Reality is sometimes too harsh and ignorance gives  some reprieve but at the same time, I want knowledge, I want to learn.

8. Go to a concert and fan girl like crazy.

9. Run through a field of flowers high on the mountains while spinning with my arms wide open. This is what freedom will feel like minus the sound of music song. Or go to Japan and ride a bicycle while having sakura blossoms gently fall around me. Insert theme song – 遠いこの街で (In a distant town) for both situations.

10. Continue to be awesome being me and make more missions to complete. Be happy wherever I am, whatever I’m doing.

 

SakuraThese blossoms will bud, bloom, fall then begin all over again with the changing seasons.

 

Thinking about thinking

I’m overwhelmed, then consumed. Let’s break that pattern.

Lets learn not to give an F

Overgeneralizing is awful – one thing doesn’t make everything bad. Many things one after another makes things bad.. but… not for long.

Processing and not labeling it as a problem – it’s not a problem until you make it one. It’s not bad until you think its bad. The more you think it’s bad it’s going to be worse.

Such is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Why is it also that we think so much of the past that it affects the future, a future that doesn’t exist yet except in the mind.

Experiences and memories are what bought you to this present place, it influences behaviour, thought processes, emotions and such to the point where it becomes your personality and character.  Does this make you who you are? If so, then are you a sum of all your experiences? Does your personality change so easily after one or a few experiences?

All we are left with questions, maybe that don’t even need to be answered. Because you are yourself, no matter who you are. As much as that doesn’t make sense.

I am being very random, that is me.

Coming back home

I’ve always been at home, home is where the heart is.

Find a new home? Make a new home? Its a scary thought.

Things I have to work through, but in the meantime. This placed called hika-p.com, will always be my home on the internet.

Come by more often. I will be home.

cityoflights5

Digital junk sharing part 1

I’m currently spring cleaning my computer and culling my past digital junk in preparation for new computer upgrade!

Things I used to love to do when I was younger when I was a lot more creative and had *that* much spare time lol

I  like to still think I am somewhat creative, although the shift has moved more into photography. Makes me wonder what if I became a graphic/web designer…

Desktop graphics was big back then, making icons, avatars, wallpapers and alike. At least the skills I learnt then are still useful now when I process my photos *WIN*

Ragnarok online inspired wallpaper titled ‘Angel Dreams’ by Hika, this was when 1024 x 768 used to be ‘big’. This particular one was uploaded onto minitoyko.com in 2005, I don’t think its there anymore and I can’t remember how many ‘favorites’ or ‘likes’ it got ._.

 

trydesk

 

Halloween Ragnarok loading screen – entered into the competition for it to be featured  for halloween.100% sketched by hand and scanned, inked and coloured on the computer. T_T It didnt make it the cut!!

rohalloween

Vitamin C label done for a test product for Pharmacy Dosage form and design.

olabel

 

My tumblelog banner – before Tumblr became famous! My tumblr’s name is still Randomness Love. And yes, I am still very random. Although, not as frequent awww..

tumblebanner

 

I used to co-host/own a fan site/forum called oishii-hoonie.net. We had over 500 members fangirling over Kim Jeong Hoon!

hvday

 

When I used to work alone on Sundays at the pharmacy. I would study because its was so quiet! Occasionally you get bored and decide to do a self shot lol

SP_A0134

 

To be continued.. *more cleaning to do*

ps. like if you want to see more junk lol

pps. I’m extremely sad at the fact I’m getting old *EXTREMELY*

The plan

In words for actioning.

  1. Redesign this site. I worked really hard on this current layout! What looked somewhat advanced then is now 1000000x outdated. I too, am outdated – the code has evolved and I’m a grandma of the internet. Time to relearn the ways of html? Perhaps. Or the lazy person way and buy someone else’s brain work. Sounds good.
  2. Fix my darn computer. Something that was brand -spanking-state of the art-sparkly newly built in 2008 computer, is now 4 years old which is close to ancient in computer age. I haven’t even had the chance to take off the protective plastic off my mirror case yet. That was going to happen when I moved into my own house – obviously has not happened yet.
  3. Clear out at least half of my things. Some things just arent important anymore. If my friend can spend one year backpacking with the most minimal things, I don’t need half of my things. The more I write things, the more awkward I think the word ‘things’ look. THINGS! LOOK AT ALL OF MY THINGS! Maybe I should change the word things to stuff. Look at this stuff isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collections complete.. *materialistic mermaid thoughts*
  4. I loved learning. I still do, I just haven’t focused. It’s time to start studying again. Shikari!
  5. Photos. Lots of photos. Taking it above and beyond my Pokemon Snap days! 😀
  6. Enjoy the journey. Its not always about the destination.
IMG_9226

The Cape de Couedic – Kangaroo Island, SA March 2012

 

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